পারমিতার একদিন | House of Memories

Movie Title: পারমিতার একদিন Director: Aparna Sen Release year: 2000

Directed by Aparna Sen, casting Rituparna and Soumitra—I was very excited for this movie! But I was delaying watching it, well I like to save good things for later. But then I guilty-watched it amidst the work week and now guilty-writing a review of it.

I have seen Aparna Sen in strong roles—mother but first an artist, wife but first a career woman, and other roles where she played characters from upper-middle class. This is the first time I am watching her in a role where she is old, she is lively and cherishes a cultural mind but worn out with the chores and bored by the four-walls of her house. I see her as the common housewife of a middle class, middle size family. A mother and a wife.

Sanaka (Aparna Sen) marries off his son and brings home her daughter in law—Paromita. Paromita was brought up in an educated family and got herself educated too. She becomes another housewife in the in-laws family, her degree of no use—like it was normalized in the 2000’s (even now too) middle class family. Then as the year goes by, a child is born. The newborn turns a year old and Paromita finds out her baby, Bablu has cerebral palsy. She dedicates her life to care for Bablu. Sanaka, who also raised a child with mental disorder, forms a bond with Paromita. Separated by generation, the two women become friends by their shared grief.

The friendship evolves slowly, even though there’s an age gap, even though their relationship is not super smooth, some shared interests and mindfulness strengthen their bond. Sanaka did not “assume” the bitter role of a mother-in-law and Paromita looked at her mother-in-law with empathy, understanding her short-tempered behavior as a side-effect of menopause.

I loved the movie, the exceptional friendship and Aparna’s portrayal of Sanaka. She blended in as an old woman, the “thakuma” wearing light-colored saree that was worn out by washing too many times, the saggy and soft skin of grandma, her teeth reddened by chewing betel leaf. Her obsession for watching old movies, her secret love for poetry… 

I understood, a friendship requires need, need for a company. Love too requires some needs. You love the ones with whom you experienced your hardship, probably hurt them in the process. Sanaka brought home a daughter-in-law, but in Paromita she brought home a friend. Through the ups and downs, Paromita was with her, unlike the husband, the sons who live their life with manly distance. There is a scene in the movie where Sanaka, weakened by age, was helped by her daughter-in-law Paromita and the old woman looks at her with so much compassion, I felt that that is love we talk about…

Another reason for me to enjoy this movie so much was—it reminded me of Rituporno Ghosh’s  “Abohomaan”, both had a common theme—the story being unfolded at a funeral. In both the movies, characters had close ones with mental disorders. And the way Rituparna carries her vanity bag of that era reminded me of the same action in Abohomaan played by Ananya Chatterjee. It seemed these two characters navigating a funeral were directed by not two directors, but one. Back to a house where they spent a great deal of time in the past and now when asked if they can find the bathroom, “Ami jani”, replied both of them.

Time to wrap up my guilt-ridden review. I think sometimes watching a movie in the middle of a week is not a bad idea, if it’s such a good one like this!